Now that all the hubbub of moving is over I find myself asking “Now what?”. And for the first time I have no idea how to answer that question. I don’t know what’s coming next and there’s no way to really prepare for it. I sit and wait.
Patience has never been my strong suit. But that’s what life has called me to be. So I sit. I wait. I discover new pieces of myself, the people and the world around me. And everyday I feel like I’m no closer to finding out the answer to, “Now what?”. But that’s ok. Maybe its not for me to know just yet. I’ve got some more growing up to do.
For some reason, as children we’re fed this lie that by the time we’ve graduated college we’re old and should have our lives figured out. Well, I’m neither grown nor do I have my life figured out. I have no I idea where the heck I’m going and I still feel 15 years old (and I still kinda look it, yay me!). Sure, I’ve seen some pretty cool things but I’m nowhere close to being the person I want to be and that’s perfectly alright. If I was already who I wanted to be, where would there be room for improvement? There’s still room to grow. Tons of uncertainty. And a heck of a lot to learn.
For the first time I can’t write the next chapter of my life ahead of time. I can’t even predict the skeleton of the story. I just have to live one step at a time. Scary and invigorating. Unnerving and exciting.